Do you remember your very first time? Did you know what you were doing or what to expect? What about the lasting effects your very first time had on you as a woman? Take a second and think about it...........
Rather good or bad, that person has a continual connection to the woman you are today. At this moment, no matter the outcome of your "popped cherry," I want you to say to him, thank you.
Because if you're reading my blog, clearly you are one hell of a woman :-)
If you are a mother, I hope you have already spoken to your daughter about the importance of her virginity? The last thing you want to do is decide to have that conversation with her and she has already given her "gift" away. Statistics show that girls begin to have sex around the age of 17. But I can walk down to the local middle school and say, "I see differently."
Is it safe to say there are a few guidelines as a "female" you would want her to know? Its better the information came from you first than from her friends. Sometimes adults get it so wrong when talking to children about sex. Instead of being honest about it, adults use scare tactics and pleads of "just don't do it" lectures. Better strategies need to be implemented if we're going to guide our daughters into the abyss of love, relationships, and disappointments. So lets get her ready.
Firstly, do you understand why your virginity was precious (think about it before reading on)?
After giving your virginity how did you react towards him afterwards? Were you clingy, always thinking about him, feeling like jell-o, disappointed, what was your reaction?
My point is the apple doesn't fall to far from the tree. What you experience in life with men~ will likely be unforeseen experiences your daughter will have with them too. Don't believe me, look at your mother, pay attention to your grandmother or great grandma if you had the privilege to know her. What was there relationship to the men in their lives? Many young girls I see today are clueless about the choices they make and how it will effect their future~ it truly breaks my heart. I'd often ask myself, where is your mother or better yet, where is your father?
The relationship a mother has with her daughter will create ripple effects of the relationship that daughter will have with her own daughter. The relationship your daughter has with her father will create waves of how she will feel about men. Daddy is a little girl's first true love, so it will be up to mom and dad to truly lay the ground work for how she should expect to be treated. If dad is not around, have a serious support system of adults that truly love her (grandparents, aunties, uncles, etc.).
Why do you think countless religions write about marrying a virgin (remember think about that question)? Do you think it was for good health, lol? Your vagina is a very special area that should be guarded with selectivity. Don't believe me, pay attention. Is it safe to say your body is your temple? Do you realize you have a few openings into your temple that you should keep guarded? Ever heard or seen the African proverb, Three Wise Monkeys, see no evil, hear no evil, speak no evil?
Your eyes, your ears, and your mouth all have openings into your temple. What you see around you, what you decide to listen to, and what you say out your mouth, all mold and shape who you are and who you will be. What other openings are there into your body? Your vagina, your anus, and your nose. Lets review your nose. Your nose is special because it is connected to different features of your body. What I find most cool about it is its ability to communicate with you without words, but through smell. Ladies have you ever smelled your lover? I don't mean with his cologne or other special smell good gadgets he may have. Have you truly smelled him? I won't delve in too far, but keep in mind there is a reason for our nose (you should smell everything and everyone around you :)
Whats next, your anus and your vagina. We know what the anus does, what about your vagina? What great big wonders does the vagina offer? Not only is it the only natural way life can be brought into this world(which is a huge wonder on its own). It is a place of pure pleasure, ecstasy, and heaven for many men. Your vagina is also the largest opening into your temple (the main entrance).
There is a reason the ancients say virginity is pure. Every man you allow to enter your temple will always leave something behind and he will always take a part of you with him. A virgin is free of baggage. Im not saying tell your daughters to be a virgin forever, that is not realistic for many young girls. Im saying have an open dialog with your daughters about her virginity, the importance of what she can never get back, and be real with her about what sex is and the power it has. Don't just talk to talk, the relationship, communication, and advice should be real. As she grows older, she will understand more and more that she will always be her own best friend first and you will always be there to guide her in anyway possible.
Just don't send her out in the world naive and unknowing of what to expect from those "of the world." I hope I'm not going to left field for you guys. Sex seems to be such a taboo subject for mothers and daughters. You will be surprised by what your daughter may already know from the television, songs, friends, and what she may hear in passing. Truth is there is complexity in being a woman. Those complexities should be revealed to her like an unwrapped gift. I embrace being a female and hope other mothers with daughters will feel empowered as well. There is such beauty and mystery in being a woman. I hope we pass the information on to the young ones. In every generation we learn to do better and it is up to us to teach the younger ones how to be better. Reach 1 Teach 1 is what you should remember. Her virginity is a sacred gift. Her body is her temple. Lastly, she is a reflection of you and what you did or didn't do as a mother.
